The Beginning of Our Journey

Stop #1- The First Day of School

If you have already read my science blog, then you are quite familiar with my passion for education. It began when I was about four years old and I stepped into my mom's classroom for the very first time. I can still remember the feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach walking through those large wooden doors and seeing an environment alive with color and exploding with love, hope, and inspiration. At that moment, I was immersed in a brand new beautiful world and I knew that I had to have this feeling for the rest of my life. With this idea in mind, I began to pour myself into all things education- recreating the lessons that I had learned in school that day on my mother's Smartboard and doing my homework twice just so I could write it out for my stuffed animals on the chalkboard at home. My love of learning did not stop there! I began practicing my penmanship so that it was perfect for when I had my first group of students and even worked on building up the muscles in my hands so that I could balance a larger read-aloud story with just one hand in order to ensure that my stuffed animals could see the pictures while I was reading. I began asking for pointers, maps, and magnetic clips from Santa and writing out Miss Murray on pieces of blank paper so that I could have a plaque on my bedroom door just like my mom had in school. Although this may seem crazy to an outside observer, education was my first love and greatest passion so there was really no other way that I wanted to spend my time. They say that all things happen for a reason and I can honestly say that being the daughter of a teacher was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Despite my love for school and learning, I was incredibly shy as a child. Although I would speak to my mother and father, at school, I was what is commonly referred to as a selective mute. Essentially, this means that at one point in time I could go an entire day without saying a word to my teachers or classmates. Although this is rather uncommon behavior, my family found that for many years, my teachers did not seem to mind my choice to be silent because I was quiet, engaged, and always on task. They never had to worry about me completing my work or speaking while they gave directions and so they let me continue on with this behavior for quite a few years. To this day, I currently believe that my silence was rooted in my fear of adults. In my mind, they were taller than me, louder than me, and more mature. As the youngest grandchild on both sides of my family, you can see how this would be an issue. Despite my fear of adults, I always had this intangible connection to children. I would say that I had about eight or nine dolls as a child and my mother used to comment that I cared for them at times even more than myself: allowing them more space in my bed at night and making sure that they were warm and comfortable before I ever sat down. Although this may seem irrational to others, it was sort of just an instinct to me and I often performed these behaviors without realizing what I was doing. I came alive around little children and seemed to have my baby doll with me at all times. My favorite doll was named Mary and she was my companion for most of my early life. Despite my selective mute classification, I would always talk to my doll and also would share her thoughts when people asked me questions. This became a real breakthrough for me as a young child. My grandfather, who was hard of hearing, spoke with a loud and deep voice for much of my early life. His harsh timbre only further compounded my fear of adults and made it near impossible for us to have a relationship. That being said, as the intelligent man that he was, my grandpa came to the realization one day that my baby doll was the key to my voice. So instead of speaking with me he would get down low and start talking to my doll. All of a sudden, our relationship changed and I began to open up to my grandfather like never before. I recognize that this tangent may seem silly and irrelevant right now, but I think that it is integral to understanding who I am as a future teacher. Quite simply, you could say that education has always been my passion but it was children that gave me my voice. It is for this reason that I believe teaching to be my vocation, and one of the many reasons, that education is so strongly valued in my household. In fact, the first day of school has almost become a national holiday for the Murray family. This day has always been complete with new clothes, lots of happy photos, and a great deal of joy and excitement. It is for this very reason that the fact that I sit before you today on the first day of a brand new school year finally pursuing my dream to teach, I am overcome with an almost intangible joy and excitement.